Meet the Boys
Sage Warner
The undeserved (and under-served) ringleader of the Circus™. Sage came out of their mother’s womb already fluent in the art of manipulation and cunning, though he prefers to be thought of as an “influencer” or simply, a great leader. Resting on the hierarchy of his high notes and his “money maker” (don’t ask which one, it’s both), Sage is the Ego of the Spice Boys, the too-proud pun-master, and the frustratable wrangler of the show.
Parsley Warner
Maybe it’s because his name represents the most disregarded garnish, or maybe he was just Born This Way™. The oversexualized Parsley doesn’t know how wrong his jokes sound (and probably doesn’t care). He’s the resident cringe lord of the gang, always with the off-color comment, and the shameful shadow-self of the Spice Boys
Rosemary Warner
The Not That Innocent™ sweet summer child of the group. Rosemary is soft, fresh, and dumber than a box of rocks. Whether due to naivete or uninhibited rizz, Rosemary’s total lack of self-awareness comes off as charming, a counter to Parsley’s willful disregard for decorum. Rosemary is just happy to still be invited on the tour because he was high during most of the group’s rehearsals.
Thyme Warner
The oldest and most successful of all the brothers, Thyme has made his fortune by establishing a network of carrier pigeons and is the only one of the group with name recognition. Thyme’s massive booty comes in handsy, er, handy for the brothers as it’s his bountiful trunkful of junk that’s able to pay for them to stop marauding and start their port cities tavern tour. Despite his success, he’s often vying for approval from the rest of the group, as beneath his lavish exterior there lies a broken and insecure heart that just needs to be hugged.
Black Pepper
Black Pepper is the 5th brother of the Spice Boys and definitely has the same mom. The Peter Frampton to their BeeGees, The Fergie to their Black Eyed Peas, you know… the one who joined later but now the gang couldn’t imagine doing the show without. Black Pepper is the fan-favorite teddy bear, he’s really important for ticket sales, and to help distract the ladies from Parsley and Rosemary’s on and off-stage shenanigans.